Tomorrow morning is my blood test!!! AAAHHHH! Wow! The time went by so fast!
Normally they would call me sometime before 4:00pm with the results but Shaun and I have decided not to find out until Thursday. Tomorrow I have a blood test in La Jolla and then I head straight to school where I will be staying until 8:00pm due to parent/teacher night.
There is no way I want to be thinking about my phone ringing all day and risk bad news prior to a room full of parents expecting a full presentation. It will be better if I can just relax (TRY to relax) tomorrow and then I will call or have them call me sometime Thursday.
I have to admit when Shaun and I were talking tonight and he was asking me, "are you nervous?" "excited?" I felt weird that I feel neither.
Then I realized as we talked that in the back of my mind I am already preparing myself for a negative. I have done this so many times that I have learned to protect my emotions so this way if it is not positive it will be much easier to hear, and get past emotionally. He was so mad saying, "What?!? No, you need to change that point of view and have faith in the Lord. Think about it being positive and you being a mom..."
Of course I have faith.
I know God can do anything.
I know God wants/knows what is best for me.
I want to believe that there is a baby/babies inside of me that will grow big and strong for 40 weeks but it is not easy.
I am scared.
I don't even want to know the results because I would just rather keep thinking I have babies in there....
I know I serve a gracious, loving, powerful and overcoming God. I know He is in control and His timing IS perfect.
So...remind me of that if you see me! Haha Thanks!
Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears"
So...remind me of that if you see me! Haha Thanks!
Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears"
5 comments:
Hoping and praying and having faith and crossing fingers and toes that it is positive...and also feeling relieved that no matter what, you will know God's plan about a baby (or two!) so soon!! Remember, no matter what, this is not the end it is only the beginning :) LOVE YOU!
So proud of you and Shaun. What a journey this has been, it's not over yet! Praying today. love you the Most!
Continuing to pray and believe for a miracle for you! :)
I just want you to know that The Clay's LOVE you and You, Shaun, & your embrios are in our PRAYS!!! I know today is going to be the longest day ever and I can not tell you how blessed our family feels to have such an amazing loving and selfless teacher for our boys!!! I just want to give you a HUGE hug tonight!!! XOXOXO
Thanks everyone!! You're the best!!! We will let you know when we know anything! AAAahhhh!!
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